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Fred A
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« Reply #15 on: October 09, 2013, 10:39:07 AM » |
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Your free Chaney Medical at work.
Another addition to the Chaney Clinic for free medical care. This time it is a real Data Base. Yes, including High Speed searches, and selective searches. Example: You are the surgeon on duty in the ER this night. They wheel in a serial Rapist who was wounded by a police bullet while attempting to escape. You inspect the wound and decide that you need a special instrument. You look at the layout before you set up by the operating room nurse. It isn't there! With the new Data Base Search engine you now have in Qimage Ultimate, Easy Peasy! You could type in "Scalpel" and the data base would tell you where they are. Some in the sterilizer, some in the dishwasher, and some still in the sink. You want a certain one. You type RUSTY SCALPEL, click the AND button, and now Qimage Ultimate will only find the special one you want for the Serial Rapist. It finds the one item that has BOTH words attached to it. This will speed up locating anything you need. Qimage keeps getting better and better.... Enjoy, Fred |
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Fred A
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« Reply #16 on: October 09, 2013, 10:52:04 AM » |
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ou could type in "Scalpel" and the data base would tell you where they are. Some in the sterilizer, some in the dishwasher, and some still in the sink.
You want a certain one.
You type RUSTY SCALPEL, click the AND button, and now Qimage Ultimate will only find the special one you want for the Serial Rapist.
It finds the one item that has BOTH words attached to it So now you are home, and looking through the images. Where's that shot of that egret? No problem! Since you set up your images with descriptions, all the birds say BIRDS. Some also say BIRDS EGRET; some say BIRDS SNOWY EGRET; some say BIRDS SANDHILL CRANE, etc You can see that I could search for "SNOWY" and get only the ones with the yellow feet, search for Egret, and get a wider range. Wow. This is really neat. Oh, the phone is ringing! ER calling! Rapist patient took a turn for the worse. I better look up SEPSIS. Have fun, Fred |
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Fred A
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« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2014, 10:39:28 PM » |
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The Free Chaney Health clinic has just received a shipment of test equipment.
As of .139, each patient has his or her own monitor which monitors heart, (you hear it beating), healing (you hear the thumbs heal and a signal when healed).
Your monitor keeps track of Saving, and creating images, making email copies, sending to recycle, etc etc.
Your whole system is being monitored. You feel safe!!!
What!? You don't hear the tick?
Diagnosis! You have a Bum Ticker, or your speaker volume is too low!!
We put you on the top of the transplant list if your speakers work.
Our Intensive Care Unit (ICU) is Internal Color Use.
Keep paying your free premiums so your coverage will not lapse.
Fred
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Fred A
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« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2014, 10:53:49 AM » |
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Never Mind Obama Care. We have Free clinic Chaney care that comes with your Qimage Ultimate.
New videos out for all our staff, nurses and Doctors!
We now have added ON DECK to our clinic.
This is patterned after the baseball ON DECK.
Previously, the next patient scheduled for the operating room, was left in the hall on a Gurney.
Now that patient goes into the ON DECK facility. He has vending machines, nurses wearing Victoria Secret, and plenty of room to keep your next set of images scheduled to print or get emailed or anything.
In version 202, in addition to all the other new improvements, we just got our uneven borders, and printable templates.
What this means for Chaney Care is the surgeon can now stand closer to the operation table since his side can be made closer to the patient.
No longer do the Dr. and nurses have to mind the border space because of a large side.
Imagine what this means to a short person... The doctor can make the edge of the operating table 0.001.
Man oh Man!
Free Chaney health care is now available with a special low price Qimage Ultimate.
Fred
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« Last Edit: March 17, 2014, 10:56:18 AM by Fred A »
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Fred A
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« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2014, 10:41:46 AM » |
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Never Mind Obama Care. We have Free clinic Chaney care that comes with your Qimage Ultimate.
New videos out for all our staff, nurses and Doctors! The Chaney Free health Care clinic has just received a shipment of the latest advancement in hospital gear. MATS! What could be new about mats, you ask? These are Qimage Ultimate Mats!! Imagine! Scene! You are in the hospital, one leg in a full cast and suspended in a sling. You have to make a #1, really urgently! You press the button to call the nurse for the bedpan.... no one comes. They are watching a DVD of the doctors modeling Victor's Secret underwear.! They finally see the blinking yellow light... too late, but not really. With Qimage Ultimate's new MAT feature, they only had to open Ultimate on their computer and using the mouse, select the underneath mat, and pull them all out. Then a few more mouse clicks, and a set of fresh clean mats are placed under you. How about this scene? You are in the operating room for a hemorrhoid operation. You are on your stomach with your rear in the air. In front of you is a small tray with two egg salad sandwiches and a pickle. The doctor and the OR nurse are eating lunch. After all, it is noon. You edge your body forward toward the tray, maybe to get a snack too, when the other OR nurse sees that you are out of position. She grabs the corner of the mat underneath you, and drags you back into position. In the past, we would have needed 4 people to grab the corners of the sheet under you to put you back in position. Free Chaney Health Care at the Clinic keeps getting better and better!! *** We do apologize for having our check-in receptionist ask you if your coverage has changed. The only way we can utilize all the new updated features if your coverage is up to date.
Please make sure you are covered with the latest Qimage 2014 version at all times. Have fun! Fred |
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« Last Edit: April 05, 2014, 10:58:37 AM by Fred A »
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Fred A
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« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2014, 09:33:38 AM » |
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Chaney Free Health Care adds another feather to its cap.!!
Yes, we never stop improving your health care.
This comes in the form of a new medication called ULTRA NOISE REDUCTION.
This comes in digital form, but when it is dispensed as an analogue cream, Ultra NR on low will remove mild Acne, and zits.
On Medium, it will remove Psoriasis, crabs, and dingle-berries.
On High, it takes care of scars, scabs, Hemorrhoids, warts, and facial moles with a hair growing out of the mole.
Some reports have mentioned success with curing ED., and restless leg syndrome!
The Chaney Free health care system is working for you.
Have Fun!
Fred
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Fred A
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« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2014, 09:46:54 AM » |
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A new Procedure added to the treatment Center.
Yes, I realize that it was only a few days ago that I reported on the new Noise reduction cream, but this is too big to wait.
Chaney Free Health Care has a new procedure which will be implemented today, June 4, 2014.
All our training sessions for the staff have been completed.
Your printer can get kidney stones too. It is in the form of a clog in your nozzle.
Have you ever had your nozzle clogged so badly that even a catheter didn't help?
Free Chaney Health Care now has an UNCLOG procedure that will pulse clean your nozzle painlessly, and with much less waste of fluid.
Man our facility just keeps getting better and better.!!
Have fun
Fred
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Jeff
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« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2014, 10:55:52 AM » |
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A new Procedure added to the treatment Center.
Yes, I realize that it was only a few days ago that I reported on the new Noise reduction cream, but this is too big to wait.
Chaney Free Health Care has a new procedure which will be implemented today, June 4, 2014.
All our training sessions for the staff have been completed.
Your printer can get kidney stones too. It is in the form of a clog in your nozzle.
Have you ever had your nozzle clogged so badly that even a catheter didn't help?
Yes, it's a long story, This clean out is much less pain. Jeff |
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Fred A
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« Reply #23 on: June 16, 2014, 12:08:45 PM » |
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It was less than 2 weeks ago, The Chaney Free Health Care clinic received the NOZZLE UNCLOGGER.
Here we are with another fantastic upgrade to our facility.
Regardless if you have a big pixel or a small pixel, the day will come when you will have multi colored sparkles all over it.
For years, this symptom was diagnosed as Measles, chicken pox, even Poison Ivy.
Modern digital science has now isolated the outbreak to the CHROMA bacteria!
And only the Chaney Free Health clinic has the cure.
No appointment necessary! Just open your Raw image using Qimage Ultimate.
Our patented NAC scanner (similar to the CAT scan) will check your image for N Noise and C Chroma.
It then applies the proper amount of " Chednisone" to cure the disease!
How's that for a great addition to the Chaney Health Care System.
Keeps getting better and better
Fred
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Fred A
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« Reply #24 on: September 26, 2014, 10:00:19 AM » |
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Well, it has been a long hot summer, and Chaney Free Healthcare is still free.
We are thrilled to let our subscribers know that a new feature, once again, has been added to the Plastic Surgery wing of the Qimage clinic/hospital.
It is called THE HOT FOLDER !!!!
It works very simply.
a) A copy of the latest Qimage Ultimate is running on the computer in the Recovery Room.
b) All you need is Windows Explorer in the OR
Scenario:
A man has a 2 x 3 image, and he wishes he had a 5 x 7.
He drops his 2 x 3 into the HOT FOLDER, in the sized sub folder marked 5 x 7, and Ultimate will give him the 5 x 7 he always wanted.
No anesthetic, no pain, no scars.
A woman has been suffering with a small size (A6) for a long time. She envies all these large sizes she sees 'hanging' at various affairs.
She drops her A6 size image into the HOT FOLDER, and by selecting the output size, will now have the Super B or C, or even User Defined size she always wanted.
No Anesthetic. No pain, no scars.
Just another wonderful addition to the Free Chaney Healthcare system.
Fred
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Fred A
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« Reply #25 on: December 09, 2014, 10:25:44 AM » |
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In a constant effort to improve the Chaney Free Health Care system, another addition was added yesterday, which, of course, will not affect your premiums, because there are none!
A couple of new features were added. REMEMBER LAST PRINT TO FILE LOCATION
A feature that now allows the attending physician to check a box on the form in the operating room and the patient will be returned to the last remembered location.
No more having mixups. If a person comes out of the OR and is supposed to go to the ICU or recovery room, he or she will get there if the box was checked.
If the OR staff was not able to save the patient, the Surgeon does not check the box so a different destination can be chosen.
Previously, if a person passed away, he or she sometimes would be sent back to his room, with no one the wiser until a nurse noticed that the last 2 meals are still untouched in trays.
Worse than that! A patient that was to be sent to ICU ended up in a sliding drawer in the basement morgue.
So even small improvements make the Mike Chaney Free health Care system the best buy for the money.
Fred
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Jeff
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« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2014, 11:36:37 AM » |
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Fred - what are you on??
Jeff
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Grumpy
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Fred A
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« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2014, 11:43:02 AM » |
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Fred - what are you on??
High on life! Did I get a smile from you? Then I won |
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Fred A
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« Reply #28 on: December 22, 2014, 11:14:02 AM » |
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R&D
Research and Development.
Yes, folks of the Mike Chaney free health care system, I want to enlighten you to the fact that we have deep thinkers, researchers, who are constantly finding ways for Qimage Ultimate to think "forward" and apply and test new theories and ideas.
Some of the biggest thinkers I know have Qimage.
The latest inroad!!
Most of you have heard of Jaundice; sometimes referred to as Yellow Jaundice.
It is most often seen as the yellowing of the whites of the eyes.
See screen snap.
As new cameras arrive on the scene, we see more and more pixels, megapixels.
This leads to a higher ppi for your prints, and as you have already figured out, this leads to Yellow Jaundice;
more commonly known as PEE-PEE EYE
This is only the first report on this phenomenon.
More to follow I'm sure.
It is part of the ongoing effort to provide Qimage Ultimate people the finest in Free Health Care.
Fred
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Fred A
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« Reply #29 on: June 05, 2015, 02:28:47 PM » |
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In our ongoing effort to constantly improve the facility at the Chaney Free Health Care system, we have just received a very important software upgrade to our operating room computers.
Prior to this upgrade, weeks might go by between a surgeon performing repetitive operations.
Questions arise. Was the liver on the left or the right side of the stomach area?
The heart? Left of the sternum.... ?
No more guessing...
With the new software, you can recall the last time that exact same procedure was performed.
Open Auto log to show the procedures on a given day in that OR, and now you can select the one single procedure of all those performed on that day that you want to emulate; by using it to start a new session.
No more need to Photo Shop in a new heart or a new liver. Just follow the presets and you will have a successful outcome.
I am getting a bit old for the operating room myself, but the last time I did, I performed Rectalectomy, I threw my brother in law out of the house and told him to get a job.
Be Safe and keep those zero dollar premiums paid up for your Chaney free health care.
Fred
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